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Artificial Light

by Guy Capecelatro III & Nate Laban

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1.
I bought a candy bar Down at the candy store But I’m not really allowed I’ve got some cavities A kind of mouth disease Never said I was too proud It’s hard to feel free with all this heavy gravity No way to be alright in this artificial light I left the tv on A show about Genghis Khan They said he descended from a big, gray wolf I’ll have some pizza please Onions and extra cheese It’s okay I’ll eat it myself It’s hard to feel free with all this heavy gravity No way to be alright in this artificial light Every night I get lost in this weird old house Drill a hole in my head let the demons out The sun comes to quickly for my taste Shining on my barely sleeping face It’s hard to feel free with all this heavy gravity No way to be alright in this artificial light
2.
Can I call you up late Would that be a mistake I need to know it today Am I just in the way Am I the imperfect one for you Spit and shined looks like new Is your flame a little dim Can I try to be less grim
3.
North Bay 03:00
I can hear the neighbors out on the fire escape The moon’s hanging low like a dinner plate I’ve been hoping for a revelation But I only hear the voice in my head There’s a Christmas cactus dying on the windowsill And my mother says her life is unfulfilled I’m making puppets in the guest bedroom And they always come out looking like me The Siamese cat is difficult Glaring from under the green lamp I put all my poison in a letter Sealed with some spit on a stamp There’s a white van parked on the corner I’m worried that they’re doing surveillance My toaster keeps catching on fire I’m starting to get used to the smell The only calls I get are solicitors Trying to sell me things I don’t need I’ve been hoping for some kind of direction No one knows how nervous I am Standing here up on the rooftop Looking out at the North Bay Feeling the wind wind through me Somehow I feel good in a way It seems like I might be okay
4.
Lovelier 02:02
This winter’s grasp Is tightening Around my feet Cementing Ones who shine Take the hardest hits Immerse themselves To feel all of it And you’re more lovelier than lovely With fists made of stone We all stumble through the darkness Looking for a home Look high above your body Scratch down deeper still The sun is burning longer With each day inside the chill And you’re more lovelier than lovely With fists made of stone We all stumble through the darkness Looking for a home
5.
Waking Up 02:12
Look for me, if you want, I’m not hiding Been so long, since we were kids I’ll be home when this wind stops pounding While you lay fast asleep When will waking up be easier to do I’m seeing lights die out too early I feel the pull of gravity My love for you I sing of sadly While you lay fast asleep When will waking up be easier to do
6.
Robbery 02:40
Stop for some gas at the mobile Trying to act nonchalant Sensing what's not on the surface I'm sure there is something you want I miss the mystery The way the wind kissed at my skin Maybe I'm traveling backwards Seeing the places I've been Here come the old misconceptions I've got some rules about men Everything feels so familiar Back in the shit again Back in the shit again
7.
Can you feel the weight of these peach-sized snowflakes Falling all around us dancing in the sweet stuff baby I wasn’t lying to myself it was only you You said I need some help how about now that we’re through Were you surprised how we cannibalized Every little word we said is there something to regret Waste paper basket full of colorful rubbers Introduce me to your new nervous lovers Walking down the street in the brand new snow Remembering the places where we used to go I can see the light from your frosty window Hoping that you sense me here below Tell me some new lies I will try to act surprised Maybe I’ll get mad do an impression of my dad Sometime next week I’ll head down to the pool Play Marko polo alone like a goddamn fool
8.
The Crossing 02:00
Feet fly fast Last moment for free Smell the air The past gives chase You’ve run out Of excuses Stare into your young face Tell them the truth you’ve seen Have you learned anything at all? Lungs burn now And flames escape It finally has caught up to you This war, this pain Cruel momentum Will make a man more true Tell them the truth you’ve seen Have you learned anything at all?
9.
Dinosaurs 03:24
Last night Chicago got the best of my mind I was dodging and reeling like a boxer Putting out the fires I never even started For about as long as I remember Acetylene torches boxes of washers Tools outlined in marker Smell of Old Spice and Irish Spring A hint of gasoline on my father Widening chasm between what I am And the person I might have become Translucent snake skins hanging from the rafters Wondering what remains Laying in that field flat on our backs Imagining dinosaurs roaming all around Last night my lover got the worst part of me No one really knows what hides inside Standing on the rooftop soaking in moon glow I’ve been growing colder for decades Secret weight of stones hidden in my pocket Smooth enticing and quiet God I love quiet
10.
In the gale sky I see the thin black birds Underneath them ice and foamy wash I’m taking in the freezing cold air And feel as if I’ll make it all-right. And it feels right It feels right Stumbled once or twice on roots in the path Some I ripped straight out of the ground If you’re wondering where the hell I’ve been I’ve been looking for me myself And it feels right It feels right

about

This album was written and recorded in the month of February 2023 as part of the RPM Challenge.

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released February 27, 2023

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natelaban Dover, New Hampshire

Nate Laban is a songwriter and performer from New Hampshire.

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